Here We Go Again…
Three years ago, almost to this exact date I set a timer for two minutes and wrote out answers to the question “What do you want?” Here is that list:
I want to see the world around me changed.
I want to help others step into greater freedom, hope, and confidence in their identity in Christ.
I want to change the way we view community and break the boundaries we’ve put on it.
I want to create safe spaces.
I want to cultivate relationships that last.
I want others to know that they aren’t just invited to the table but are accepted there.
I want to travel to all 50 states (currently have been to 30).
I want to do a road trip down the east coast following the fall.
I want to live in California for a season.
I want to live in Spain for a season.
I want to live back in Colorado.
I want to have my own home and people to feel welcomed there.
I want to be married.
I want to have kids.
I want to get my masters degree in leadership development and counseling.
I want to be the cool aunt to all my siblings kids.
I want to write a book that changes the way people view themselves and the world around them
I want to do art therapy with counseling and soul care.
I want use my photography to bring a fresh perspective to the way people view the world and moments that they see. To capture a moment and make it eternal for someone.
I want to dream impossible dreams that may never actually pan out, but to still be filled with wonder.
I want to backpack through Europe.
I want to continue to travel and live in the world even when I have a family, to experience and see the richness, the hardships, and the hope that is still riddled throughout every nook and cranny of the world.
I want to own a Husky
I want to always try new things even if they scare me and I may fail at them, because it is only through the trying that I learn a new passion of mine/something I may like.
I want to be bold and daring.
I want to connect people together.
I want to love unconditionally, giving grace freely.
I want my breath to be taken away time and time again when I see the vastness of the Ocean, the grander of the mountains, the expanse of the night sky, the humbling heights of skyscrapers, the sound of snow falling, and the awe of thunderstorms.
I want to become a great cook, and bake tasty treats for others inviting them to my table.
I want to dance in the kitchen, sing in the shower, and cry in the living room.
I want to know my neighbors.
I want to get lost in the nooks of libraries where I am teleported into a new world as I read through the rich pages of books.
I want to find delicious hole in the wall food places in the cities I live in and the places I travel to.
I want to leave a legacy behind me.
I want to lead again people across the world.
I want to love, fall in love and be loved.
I want to experience life.
I want to live a life of adventure and exploration.
I want to cultivate tribe with people and teach them how to do that with others.
I want to go to all National Parks.
I want to paddle board in the moonlight.
I want to visit quaint coffeeshops
I want to have a little “band” with my future husband (even if that just means in our own living room pretending)
I want to be challenged in life, to not back down from fear.
I want my husband and I to have a similar heart and vision for life, to not just settle for a paycheck but follow the Lord in what we do, to follow the dreams He lays on our hearts and to live a life of passion.
I want to be able to look back on my life and see that I lived my life lost and gained it all the more.
Now three years later I find myself with that same question coming to my mind again “Alysa, what do you want?” I don’t really know why I find this question daunting in ways. Maybe because it feels selfish…perhaps because it is vulnerable to state what you want in the hopes that maybe, just maybe they will come about in life. As I sit here and think about it for a moment or two longer I realize that my wants aren’t worth it. That I would rather invest in others than myself in ways and aspects. To champion people on towards their dreams and desires than my own. If we dig a little deeper I see that it is rooted in fear and ultimately a lack of trust with God.
Since writing that list back in 2017 I have found that I have been able to do some of these things, and have incorporated them into my every day lifestyle. I have seen how I have become bolder, more confident, and trusting in the Lord as I take steps forward in risking after dreams. And so, let’s do the same activity again and see what has changed - because I know I have changed.
Here we go two minutes starting now….
I want to see people who have never known Jesus come to know Him
I want to still travel, live overseas and venture to places I have never been with others - friends, family (current & future).
I want to write stories of the testimonies of people encountering Jesus and the beauty of the world we live in.
I want to capture moments with my camera and document people, cultures, colors, landscapes, and so much more for people to enjoy.
I want to live a life of worship and seeing Kingdom come alive here in the earth.
I still want to travel to all 50 states (currently at 38)
I still want to live in California for a season
I still want to live back in Colorado
I still want to create safe spaces
I still want to go to all National Parks
I still want to paddle-board in the moonlight.
I still want to get married and live a wild life following Jesus together with our family
I still want my husband and I to have a similar heart and vision for life, to not just settle in life but follow the Lord in what we do, to follow the dreams He lays on our hearts and to live a life of passion.
I still want to see people set free in Jesus
I want to build and dream and try and fail and learn and do it all over again and again.
I want to always have song of thanksgiving upon my lips and a heart of gratitude
I want to use art as a means for encountering the Father’s heart.
I still want to find all of the hole in the wall places wherever I am, trying all the delicious food.
I want to live a life of abandon and whimsy.
I still want to explore and adventure every day.
I still want to leave a legacy behind me.
I want to see the next generation rise above us and to go beyond where we dared tried to pioneer to.
I want to see miracles, signs, wonders every day.
I want to use the gifts freely given me for the glory of His name!
I want to dream wilder dreams then I ever have before and truly pursue after them.
I want messy in life rather than perfectly put together - to learn, discover, grow, and heal.
I want to walk in humility, grace and dignity.
I still want to always try new things even if they scare me and I may fail at them, because it is only through the trying that I learn a new passion of mine/something I may like.
I still want to be bold and daring.
I still want to connect people together.
I still want to love unconditionally, giving grace freely
I want to live a life that expresses the heart of Jesus to everyone around me, inviting them to dine at His table, to weep with them, rejoice with them and to see Him bring healing, hope, and life back into their hearts.
Time is up…and well they seem pretty similar to me, I think what has changed is that my heart has become one more inline with Jesus. To use everything for the glory of His name and to truly step in trust towards Him, take His hand and say “Jesus, what do you want?” And because He knows me so intimately and lovingly He uses the things instilled within, the passions, dreams, desires, talents, and says “I just want you to truly live!”
My friends may we take a step closer to His heart today, to truly live with Him no matter where or what we are doing. To say “Jesus, I trust you, your heart and your intentions and may we journey together and see Your Kingdom come!”
