Spoken Word: Welcome Here
Another spoken word written in various points in time, going through a process of healing, rejection, figuring out how to navigate expressing what I was feeling. There are some raw real moments written within these words…perhaps there are some that you have felt too.
In the middle of it all though, the Father so beautifully wrapped me up and said “Beloved I love you, I choose you, I accept you. Now go and to likewise.” Easier said then done, for why go and love someone who has rejected me? Why go and continually invite them, extend a hand and be a listening ear? Well…because Jesus has done that for me, He has continually pursed after me even at my very worst and so how do we freely give as we have been given?
As you read, I hope that you are encouraged, strengthened, challenged and brought to a different place with Jesus. Blessings on the journey my friends!
Can I sit here and join you at your table? I see that there appears to be room and yet you’ve seemed to have reserved them. I guess I’ll move on then, sorry to disturb you. I just had thought that you seemed lonely.
I am too. A weary traveler, a nomad wandering around what feels like aimlessly at times trying to figure out a place to call home. I saw your table and it looked like a place of rest and peace, but again I’ll leave.
For am I worthy with these battle scars to join the feast? Am I able to be invited? I hadn’t realized that those already seated around it have earned their place there. What must I do to earn my place there? What must I prove to you to earn your trust?
It’s funny because in my travels I have found strangers warmer and more welcoming then the fear gripped eyes you look upon me with. Those people brought me in without fear or judgement that I would “ruin” their perfectly fine space. So what would it look like to give full trust and not just the portions you have deemed people worthy of?
Seems selfish to live life like that—prideful really. I understand that you have been wounded, I have too, why do you think I keep moving from place to place? But I’m tired of the memories following me. The sleepless nights of my past haunting. I want healing. I want freedom. And I’ve been told to come to the table to receive. And for people who are apart of the Body you have a funny way of helping another member out.
I didn’t realize that rejection was the medicine to cure the question of acceptance. I believe then a thank you is in order. For without your rejection I wouldn’t have seen the beauty that is beyond what I see at your table. And when I look beyond I see a man waving to me inviting me into His embrace. Filled with intimate conversation, depth and beauty. When I reached His table I noticed my name next to yours…funny I guess pride is another form of self-rejection too.
Seemed strange I turned and there He was I asked Him why our names were next to each other. “Love your neighbor as yourself” He simply replied. To love one who has hurt and been hurt. To accept one who has rejected and been rejected. To invite even when the answer still may be no. But, to love you I also must learn to love and accept myself—to know the worth and value I hold and know that I am meant to sit at the same table.
I return back to your table and rather than asking to sit at yours I ask if you will sit with me at the Master’s table. Silence…no reply…again fear within your eyes questioning my motive, my reasoning to invite you—asking again if I am able to be trusted. I see within your eyes the desire to want to, yet the fear holding you back. I reach out my hand and say “come and join” but you continue to not take it.
I come back the next day and the next, slowly I see your resistance fading. I see your stubbornness subsiding. And so one day in surprise you actually take my hand and we walk over to His table. You see our names next to each other and have the same question I did. Again He replied “Love your neighbor as yourself.” You look at me and then back at the table. Looking at me again and the table, a softening in your gaze. You pull out my chair and after I sit you join me there at the table and we feast.
